Friday, December 02, 2016 @ 9:54 am

In the last few years, I have noticed a pattern in my life that has brought me a considerable amount of discomfort and stress. From time to time, I would find myself being the target of a guy's unwanted/unnecessary attention. It bothers me till no end. And I must admit that it is for this very reason that at times I have this strong urge to want to simply settle to avoid having to reject others or being a mean person.

My desire to settle has always been driven by fear.

But recently I am beginning to realise that no matter your age or marital status, some people are just too thick-skinned to care. Having a partner does not make this problem go away completely.

I have always been stressed by this and sometimes I would just disappear from the person's life because I find the person going overboard and I dont know how to say it without sounding mean or hurtful. I cannot be gracious about it because it has only somehow given false hope.

I have wanted to snap so many times at work, to be curt and simply ask to be left alone. All these words do nothing to assure me, because words mean nothing when actions speak otherwise.

How can you say that you are averse to touch but you have no qualms about coming closer than normal to me each time I ask about something? How can you say that you scorn materialism when I see you eating expensive food, grabbing taxis like nobody's business and donning designer outfits? There are more but anyway, they may seem like tiny details, but they speak a lot about who you are as a person.

And really, no one can completely protect me in this matter except for myself. I have observed instances where even being married does little to stop people from trying their luck or making advances.

My happiness and sanity should not depend on another person. I was happy to have been protected especially during those crucial days, but I have also noticed that there are times where we have no choice but to fend on our own. Having each other in our hearts may alleviate the situation but ultimately it is about us taking charge of our own lives. Having a partner enhances our lives. We are already complete on our own.

I dont want to be constantly bothered by this issue for the rest of my life. It has given me alot of stress and driven me to make impulsive decisions.

I have no control over their emotions like how they cannot control my feelings towards them. The only real control I have is my own life so deal with it.

© Layout by yours truly, with header-image effect by Chapters. 01 02 03