Sometimes, you never know when you may be influenced. I realised that dialogues, while important to encourage others, are also crucial to help ourselves. If we keep things bottled up and refuse to tell anything to anyone, we risk getting more and more deluded with our own thoughts, blinded at corners where external parties can otherwise point out to you.
Also, this month we talked about good friends in Buddhism during discussion meetings. It is indeed essential to do our part for kosenrufu by helping to bring out others' Buddhahood, but at the same time don't forget to in particular surround ourselves with good friends and treasure them. They may not always agree with you, but they help you to grow, they want the best for you, and they too recognise your goodness.
I cannot help but feel that this current seating arrangement will enable me to climb greater heights. Not that things will get easier; in fact I may be expected to do even more. But I will get the training that I need, and allow myself to be honed to become a true working professional.
As much as I empathise with her current struggles and I understand why leaving is a sound decision from her perspective, but that shouldnt affect my own resolve. I have a different objective, and my goal doesnt require me to move for any other reason except that things can get tough and demanding at times. I also do wonder about whether what she is doing is fully right or not, but in the end it depends on what a person is aiming for in his/her life.
The basis of karma is creating causes that arise from our habits, attitudes and responses. If we think we are always right but yet suffer from similar consequences wherever we go....then is that being unlucky or punished by something else? It still goes back to changing certain things fundamental within ourselves not to lose our identities but to become even better. Human revolution is the key to changing our karma and leading lives of great growth and fulfilment.
This has always been my problem, being affected by others easily. This was why I had rejected criticism or decided to just shut myself out in the name of being unique and to be myself. But what does being myself means? Do we have to always isolate ourselves to stay away from bad influences and therefore retain our identities?
Surrounding ourselves with good people doesnt mean avoiding the ones whom we think are negative influences like some contagious disease. It means to be able to judge the good from the bad, to treasure both but in different ways, to not be easily swayed.
No matter what happens, I want and must press on. Not that I am most keen on climbing up too high a corporate ladder but I definitely want to be skilled, competent, capable and reliable.
Glad to have mentioned about this issue during breakfast with my aunt and she was able to encourage me from her perspective and experiences.
Heres to picking myself up again and moving forward.
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