I almost wanted to say that I didnt know what I do to deserve it, but I know deep down that it is the ichinen in which I chanted that led me to where I am right now.
I chanted for a good work mentor; that no matter how tough it may be, I wish to be trained under this person so that I can manifest my potential. It has been challenging, but when I saw how my boss noticed my struggles and stepped in to help me out in the things that I had no power to decide or negotiate about, at that moment I felt like crying tears of gratitude in the office room.
It sounds silly af, but because I have mostly been the senior who protects and looks out for my peers or juniors, it felt really comforting to have someone looking out for me in this complicated workplace.
This also reminded me of the day that you and I met so that we could bring our two friends around. I have always been so used to managing relations and planning itinerary that honestly, I never thought about asking for help. I did have some questions which when I asked, uh.........you didnt reply me at all?
But then the plot twist was that you actually read and pondered over the dilemmas I stated, and on the day itself you told me straight that you had done research and came up with a plan as well.
So while otw, we were discussing about how we could best host our two friends before they arrived. Your presence and inputs really brought me immense comfort, reminding me that I don't always have to struggle on my own.
It was a lovely day and while I did hope that we could have some time on our own after that (why were both appointments on the same day........), but it is fine. Another reason to meet up again cos we have barely shared about our December to each other.
Not sure how I exactly survived the lows that came with all these longings. One month of zero contact because at some point in time, we were nestled in some random forest and village in a foreign land with no hint of wifi signal or mobile reception.
The lows were definitely more intense during the first part of my Thailand trip, the start of our lack of any contact with each other. Travelling with the BFF was really fun and meaningful in general but it did take me a while to decide to be strong, happy and to simply not be so bothered by it. Of course it led to me being slightly unaware of my surroundings and the help required of me at times, but I am glad that all is good and everything turned out great in the end! (@BFF: if you read this, thank you for your unconditional loveeee)
In a world where we always need to remain in contact to be reminded of each other's existence, love and care, having to go through this was really strange especially in this era. And what I felt when we met again wasnt really like, oh everything is still the same! It was more of sensing that both of us have grown again but somehow we are supporting each other's journeys along the way. To be able to plan things together and wanting to best serve and host others has already become another precious memory for me.
Not sure why but it is often these simple things that we do together that have been a lot more memorable for me than anything else. Also not kidding, but that day it felt like we were doing kosenrufu together, striving for others' happiness side by side.
I would like to have many more of such moments walking through life's journey together :)
Things havent been easy, but it is only through challenges that we learn, grow and become stronger. Heres to never giving up, never disparaging, never begrudge.